Serenity Sunday

Free Coloring Page for Readers

Ever see a trend take hold and want to tell the world, “Hey, I was doing this long before it became a thing!” That’s how I feel about coloring. I’ve been doing it for years, finding peace and mental quiet in the easy mindlessness of putting pencil to illustrated page and filling it in shade by shade. So while a small part of me wants to disclaim the assumption that I’m on a bandwagon, a bigger part is happy that coloring has become so popular, because that means my options for colors and coloring books has greatly expanded.

How about you? Do you enjoy coloring? If so, I’ve got a treat for you! Next Wednesday is National Coloring Day, and since that’s something I enjoy so much, I thought I’d celebrate by posting a free, printable coloring page, one taken from the stories in my own books. I’ll post it here next Wednesday, but in the meantime, I need some help figuring out what scene to choose and have illustrated.  Which of the following would you most enjoy:

Place your vote today! Then be sure and come back next week so you can print and color the winner.

In the meantime, here are a few links you might enjoy:

• More info and links to free coloring pages

• Two of my favorite coloring tools:

Faber-Castell Eraser Pencil
Derwent Blender and Burnisher Pencil Set

• My favorite coloring pencils:

Prismacolor Premier Colored Pencils (Expensive but excellent)
Crayola Long Colored Pencils (More economical, with lots of colors to choose from)

• My favorite pencil sharpener (Yes, it matters! I like this one because it lets you choose several different levels of sharpness)

• My current coloring book

• My all-time favorite coloring book

That's it for now. Be sure to vote by midnight tomorrow night (Thursday, July 27th). See you next week!

Serenity Sunday

What’s in a Word: Hilarious Voice Dictation Errors

Everyone’s had their share of funny results while using voice dictation, but I’ve been dictating my books for years—long before Siri was even born—and I’ve kept a running list of my favorites along the way. Today I thought I’d share some of them with you.  Enjoy! (But be forewarned, several are a bit racy…)

From A Quarter for a Kiss:

What I said:        We had dinner at the Full Moon Buffet.

What it wrote:    We had dinner at the phlegm buffet.

From Shadows of Lancaster County:

What I said:        Lydia and Gordon are in the barn.

What it wrote:    Chlamydia and gonorrhea in the barn.

From Under the Cajun Moon:

What I said:        The sky was a beautiful shade of purple pink

What it wrote:    This guy was a beautiful shade of purple pink

What I said:        Is this the home of Ben Rogers?

What it wrote:    Is this the home of Bin Laden?

What I said:        I could hear the sound of Travis’s breathing.

What it wrote:    I could hear the sound of Travis breeding.

What I said:        Whether my veins were coursing with venom or not

What it wrote:    Whether my veins were coursing with Vietnam

What I said:        Suck out the venom, don’t suck out the venom

What it wrote:    Suck out with a numb, don’t suck up to them

What I said:        Chitimacha Indians

What it wrote:    Sh*t and watch the Indians

What I said:        Fifi

What it wrote:    see feet  (I kept trying and got:)

defeat

TV thief

the beef

be PPP

PPTP

What I said:        “What have you got there? Sazeracs?”

What it wrote:    “What you dare? the senator asked?”

From Secrets of Harmony Grove:

What I said:        I spotted three Amish children.

What it wrote:    I spotted three ominous children.

From Echoes of Titanic:

What I said:        numerous disasters that had befallen her

What it wrote:    bloomer disasters that had befallen her

From Beauty to Die For:

What I said:        He's been charged with Simple Assault.

What it wrote:    He's been charged with Simple Salt. 

What I said:        Why was this guy staring like that? She wondered if it had something to do with her or if it was...

What it wrote:    Why was this guy staring like that? She wondered if it had something to do with her orifice...

What I said:        Sliding the last bite of food into her mouth, Didi chewed, swallowed, and dabbed at her lips with the cloth napkin.

What it wrote:    Sliding the last bite for food Intermountain, DeeDee Chu, swallowed, and dander lips with the goth pumpkin.

What I said:        saline poisoning

What it wrote:    Celine poisoning.

What I said:        clad in the spa’s signature white terrycloth robes.

What it wrote:    clad in the smallest signature quite hairy robes.

What I said:        Absently flipping through the rack

What it wrote:    Absolutely flipping through Iraq

What I said:        Did you say Moonflower?

What it wrote:    Just aim and fire

What I said:        The various locations

What it wrote:    And they are the Haitians

What I said:        Inhabiting the same space

What it wrote:    Inhabiting the same spaceship

What I said:        Marcus brought Beverly back to the room, saying, "Why don't you rest a bit.”

What it wrote:    Marcus brought Beverly back to the room, saying, "Why you arrested b*tch.”

What I said:        Greg reached out and placed a warm hand on Crystal’s shoulder.

What it wrote:    Greg reached out and placed a warm hand on pistols children.

What I said:        He grinned, twin dimples appearing in his cheeks.

What it wrote:    He grinned, twenty dimples appearing in his cheeks.

From The Amish Midwife:

What I said:        In a way that gives her a little bit of peace

What it wrote:    and away the kisser a little bit of peeps

From The Amish Seamstress:

What I said:        She took a package of stew meat from the refrigerator.

What it wrote:    She took a package astutely from the refrigerator.

What I said:        I moved toward the center of the large rectangle of grass.

What it wrote:    I moved toward the center of the large rectangle of breast.

From The Amish Blacksmith:

What I said:        I couldn’t wait to tell Natasha.

What it wrote:    I couldn’t wait to helm a tossup.

From The Amish Clockmaker:

What I said:        Miriam nodded, thoroughly engrossed in his tale.

What it wrote:    Miriam nodded, thoroughly engrossed in his tail.

What I said:        Hadn't he forsaken them?

What it wrote:    Having tea for Satan and them?

From My Sister's Prayer:

What I said:        Nana met my gaze.

What it wrote:    Nana met high gays.

What I said:        She had done plenty.

What it wrote:    She's a dumb Plenti.  (Question: What the heck is a “Plenti”?)

From My Daughter's Legacy:

What I said:        With Nana, you have to pick your battles.

What it wrote:    With bananas, you have to pick your battles.

I hope you’ve gotten a few laughs from these. I’ve saved my all-time favorite for last. It’s this one, from Beauty to Die For:

What I said:        Please, Lord, let that spa be any one except the Palm Grotto.

What it wrote:    Please, Lord, let that spawn beat anyone except the home depot.